Absentia
by katyrye
Summary: GSR version!
1. Chapter 1

Sara Grissom put her car in park and sighed. She was late picking Ethan up again and the director, Mrs. Cutter, wasn't going to be too pleased. It was winter in Minnesota and the snow was falling quickly. The big flakes had already covered her windshield in the small amount of time that she had been parked in front of 'Tiny Town'. When she pushed the door open she was hit with an icy blast of wind that nearly took her breath away. She had to cover her mouth with her scarf and pull her furry hood over her head.

When she pushed open the double doors Mrs. Cutter was standing there, just as Sara thought she would be. Hesitantly she approached the desk, expecting an onslaught of complaints. Things hadn't exactly been working out lately and she was sure that being expelled from 'Tiny Town' would be the icing on the cake.

"Mrs. Grissom," Mrs. Cutter said. "I know things have been hard for you this past year, but I have to follow the guidelines. If I make exceptions for you then every parent will expect them."

Sara nodded. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I keep getting held over at work."

Mrs. Cutter opened a folder and pulled out a few sheets of construction paper. Sara took the time to look at each one. They reflected Ethan's imagination to a 'T' and she knew that they belonged to her son.

"These drawings are getting very disturbing," Mrs. Cutter said. "I think it would be best if he went to see a counselor."

Sara was taken aback and her pride made her recoil at the thought. There was nothing wrong with her son and she wanted to make that that perfectly clear to the woman. Struggling to hold her temper in, she folded up the drawings and tucked them into her bag.

"I may consider that," she said with a tight smile.

Mrs. Cutter nodded to her. "I'm glad to hear it," she replied. "Ethan is with Carol in the classroom."

Sara turned and walked down the hallway that had walls lined with childish art. As she walked she caught herself wondering if she would ever take Ethan to a professional. In the past she knew parents who neglected their child's mental health. Maybe it would be best to consider it an option.

"There's mom," Carol, a teaching assistant, said as Sara stepped through the doorway of the classroom designated for four-year-olds.

"Mommy," Ethan cried, pushing his chair back and running to her.

Sara bent down to wrap her arms around the excited child. When he was finally in her arms, she could smell the tell-tale sign of grape jelly. When she pulled her son back to look him over, she noticed that she was right. A clump of his hair stood straight up and was matted with jelly.

Sara smiled. "Did you eat jelly today?" she said.

"I eat a sandwich," the boy said proudly.

"I see," Sara replied, grabbing the small red coat of the hook on the wall.

"Mrs. Grissom," Mrs. Cutter said from the doorway. "I am sorry to have to say this, but this can't happen again. If you fail to pick up your son on time, then I will be forced to expell him."

Sara clenched her teeth as she helped the child into his coat. The urge to throttle the woman was strong, but having Ethan present calmed her nerves. So instead of retaliating, she straightened up and smiled.

"It won't happen again," she promised.

Sara turned to exit the room, but Mrs. Cutter spoke up again. "I know it has been hard since your husband passed. Maybe you should look for a twenty-four hour daycare."

Sara went rigid at the mention of Gil. She did not think it was appropriate for anyone to bring up such a raw factor in her life; especially in front of her son.

"I may do that," she said as she turned to leave, but then she added. "He's not dead. He's missing."

As she walked down the hallway, son in tow, she fought the tears that were brimming behind her eyelids. She tried so hard not to cry in front of the children. She was tired of the looks of pity from everyone. She was so tired of trying to remain sane.

"Poor woman," she heard Carol mutter.

~o~

After she had left the daycare, she had driven by Brookside Elementary to pick Emily up from her aftercare program. As the eight-year-old climbed into the car, Sara felt a wave of sadness hit her. She was supposed to be happy about picking up her children and going home, but instead she was dreading the fact that she was going home to an empty house.

"How was your day, honeybee?" Sara asked her daughter as she carefully pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic.

"Fine," she said. "We studied bugs in class. The teacher asked me to talk about them."

Sara felt sad for her child. "Did you talk about them?" she asked.

Emily shook her head. "No," she whispered. "I didn't want to."

Sara frowned and looked at Emily in the rear-view mirror. "Daddy would want you to," she offered.

Emily did not respond and Sara did not press the issue. When Gil had been around, Emily was his sidekick. They were always looking for insects in the woods or by the lake. When Gil had vanished, Emily's appetite for discovery did too.

"How about pizza?" Sara suggested, trying to bring a ray of excitement into the car.

"Yeah!" Ethan said from his car seat.

Emily grumbled a response and Sara turned in the direction of Pizza Palace.

~o~

Ethan was still too young to eat a slice of pizza without getting sauce all over his face, so Sara usually ended up cutting his food into bite sized pieces. Pizza Palace had always been a favorite of the small family and Sara had hoped that the happy memories would perk them up.

"You need to eat your dinner," Sara said to Emily, who was picking at her food.

Emily took a bite of pizza to satisfy her mother, but then let the slice drop down onto her napkin. Sara sighed; she was so lost without her husband. Gil had always been the one to handle Emily's mood swings. He had a way of connecting with her that she didn't have. Sometimes she had felt a stab of jealousy in regards to the bond the two had shared.

"Mommy is trying, Em," she said, and then she propped her chin up on her elbows. "Do you remember the time daddy ate that jalapeno pepper?"

Emily nodded. "Yes," she said, taking another bite out of her pizza slice.

Sara smiled. "Do you remember how much water he drank and how red his face got?"

Emily smiled at the memory. "Yes," she said.

Sara smiled wider and continued the story. "It was so funny to see him coughing and spitting," she said, laughing. "He looked like a tomato."

Ethan, who had been a baby at the time, laughed along with them. Ethan had always been Sara's sidekick. The two often rough housed, played toy cars, or read books about dinosaurs. By losing Gil, Emily had not only lost a father, she had lost her best friend.

Emily threw a spoon at her little brother. "You don't even remember!" Emily screamed at him.

"Emily!" Sara said, picking the spoon up off the floor. "You're a big sister. You shouldn't-"

"I don't care!" Emily pouted loudly. "I wish daddy hadn't died. I wish _you_ had died."

Sara set the spoon on the table softly and looked around the restaurant. People had their eyes fixed intently on her. She felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. She looked down at Emily, who was now looking remorseful.

"Let's go home," she said, picking up Ethan's coat.

~o~

How could he just walk up to her and explain what happened? He had run the scenario over in his mind several times, but each instance ended the same. How could he convince her that there had been no other option and there still wasn't? The only reason he had returned to Minnesota was to check on his family, but know that he had seen that they were safe; he could go back into hiding.

Seeing what he just saw disturbed him greatly. The family was physically safe, but they were far beyond fine. Sara appeared to be healthy, but he knew her well enough to know that she was letting stress take a toll on her. It wasn't normal stress she was dealing with, it was the loss of her spouse and the father of her children.

Gil felt a wave of guilt for not being able to help her grieve for him, but he would not risk his family's life. It had been his choice, after the attack, to disappear. After all, they had given him an ultimatum. He could either die or have his family killed. He would not accept the latter, but he refused to give in. The first night he slept alone without Sara, his mind raced. He couldn't imagine what she was going through. After all, she had probably been the one to discover the blood.

Sara had never been the one to accept circumstances and he could tell that she was still holding onto him. He was glad that she was because when the danger had subsided, he had hoped to be reunited with his family. His wife still wore her wedding ring. She also took to wearing his giant winter coat that he had bought when they moved up north.

As he watched the scene in Pizza Palace unfold, he wanted so badly to go comfort his family. Hearing Sara retell a wonderful family memory had ached him more than he anticipated, but it was their lives that needed to come first. He assumed emotional turmoil was better than death.

~o~

As Sara helped Ethan into his coat she saw a burly man in a plaid coat rise from his booth and quickly leave the restaurant. Apparently her family had been so unruly that even strangers were losing their appetite.

"Mom, "Emily whispered. "I'm sorry."

Sara smiled at her daughter and helped her into her coat. "It is alright," she said. "Let's try to love each other the best we can."

As the family drove home, Sara found herself remembering the horrible day that changed her life forever. The family of four had been seated in the living room, watching a rerun of _America's Funniest Home Videos_ when the power went out.

"Daddy," Emily complained, as if Gil controlled the power in the house.

The couple had been stretched out on the couch relishing the small amount of togetherness they had in their busy lives. Gil sighed loudly and rose to find his shoes.

"Nobody get up," he joked. "I got it."

Sara pulled herself up as well. Her eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the dark, but she could make out Gil's shape in front of her, pulling his shoes on. She fumbled on the side table for her phone, found it, and used it as a flashlight.

"It has to be a fuse," Gil commented.

"Fix it, daddy," Emily said from her place on the floor.

Sara looked down at Ethan and saw that he was fast asleep. She handed Emily her phone and stood to pick up the sleeping toddler.

"Shine the light so I can put your brother in bed," she said.

Sara and Emily had gone back into the bedroom to put Ethan in bed. When they returned they sat on the couch and waited for Gil to come back inside.

He never returned.

Finally, Sara pulled on Gil's big coat and went outside to find the fuse box. It was likely that he was still trying to figure things out. When she reached the metal box, Gil was not there. Instead she was greeted by the horrible sight of dark red snow. On the ground, near the side of the house, lay the flashlight that he had been using.

"Gil!" she called into the night.

Sara picked up the light and pointed the beam towards the woods. Had an animal come and attacked him while he wasn't looking? Sara dismissed that idea because she knew who had taken Gil and why. The most important question was far more horrifying for her to ask.

_Was he still alive?_


	2. Chapter 2

Once Sara had pulled the family car, an older model KIA that was good on gas, into the driveway she sighed with relief. Another night was drawing to a close. Now, all that was left to do was to bathe the kids, check homework, and put them in bed for the night.

She looked up at the quaint, two-story, colonial style house and shut the engine off. They had bought it when they first moved to Minnesota with hopes of fixing it up and making it their dream home. When Emily came along, remodeling was set aside. When Ethan was born, any thoughts of reconstructing their home were a distant memory. Before Gil had vanished, the couple had been talking about hiring a contractor to rebuild the back porch. Now, all she had around her were memories of regrets and unfulfilled dreams.

"Mommy, can we make hot chocolate?" Emily asked, gathering her belongings.

Sara pulled herself from her thoughts. "Yeah, baby," she said. "We can have one mug after bath time."

Both children cheered as the three of them climbed from the car. The snow underfoot crunched as they walked to the front door. Sara quickly grabbed Ethan's small, mittened hand and helped him clamber through the snow.

When she had keyed into the house, both children dropped their bags on the floor and rushed to their bedrooms. Sara looked after them and set her keys in the tiny dish by the door. She let her gaze linger on the framed family portrait on the wall, but then quickly looked away.

"Mom, can I use your bathroom?" Emily shouted from her room. "Ethan is being a butt!"

Sara smiled to herself. "Yes," she said, and then she added. "Don't call your brother a 'butt'."

After she set her purse down in the kitchen, she went back into the guest bathroom to undress her son and start his bath water.

~o~

After Gil had left 'Pizza Palace' he pulled his car, a beat up Pinto, over to the shoulder to call Jim Brass. Brass had been the first person he thought to turn to after the attack. Not only because he was a close friend, but because he had experience with The Witness Security Program.

Brass had been against his returning to Minnesota to check up on his family, but Gil had to have proof of their safety with his own eyes. As he waited for the lines to connect, he thought about what he had heard his daughter say to Sara.

"_I wish daddy hadn't died. I wish you had died." _

Is this what he had sentenced Sara to; a life of anguish and guilt. Emily had always been a difficult child to handle, but she had never been mean. This new realization stunned him and he began to rethink his decisions.

"Gil," Brass said, answering the phone. "Are they alright?"

"They're alive," Gil replied. "I wouldn't say they are alright."

Brass sighed. "Look, I know it isn't easy for them. In the long run it is better if you are able to return to them alive and out of danger," Brass paused and Gil heard him take a swallow of something that he assumed was liquor. "Now, go back into the program and wait until I take care of this."

Gil pursed his lips. "I need to stay a few more days," he said. "I need to make sure they are not going to come after Sara and the kids."

Gil heard a 'thunk' over the phone and imagined Brass slamming his glass bottle down on his oak desk. His old friend knew that he missed his family greatly, but he also knew that Brass wanted to keep him safe.

"You're just where they want you to be," Brass said. "They probably drew you out by sending those photos and at this moment they have you in their crosshairs. Now that they know you aren't dead, they will kill all four of you."

Gil knew his old friend was right, but if that was the case then he shouldn't leave Brookside. If this had been a ruse to draw him out into the open, then it had worked well. When Brass had told him about the photos of his family, he had been in a panic. His old friend had tried to reason with him, saying that he would personally check on them. Gil would not be reasoned with and he found himself driving from Oregon to Minnesota.

"I can't go back," he said.

~o~

After the hot chocolate had been consumed and the children were in bed, Sara began to prepare for the next weekday. She always prepared lunches, set out school clothes, and checked homework the night before. Since she had been labeled as a single mother, she had started to plan things in advance to avoid last minute mistakes. Ethan always wanted to have the same thing for lunch every day: peanut butter and jelly with the crust cut off. Emily, who thought she was more mature than her brother, wanted a turkey sandwich with relish and mayonnaise.

When the phone sounded, she moved quickly to answer it. One small noise would wake Ethan up and she wasn't in the mood to fall asleep in his bed again.

"Hello," Sara answered, wondering who would call so late.

She heard nothing on the other line but static. Glancing down at her phone she walked in front of a window, hoping to get better reception. Instead, what she heard chilled her. Someone was playing a music box.

"Absentia," an eerie voice said before disconnecting.

Sara quickly dropped the phone and hurried to close the curtains in the living room. Panicking, she checked the locks on all the doors and windows. When she was satisfied that they were secure, she went to check on her sleeping children.

Both children were still asleep and softly snoring. Ethan's night light, Snoopy as The Red Barron, was illuminating his car themed better room. Emily, who claimed that she was too old for a night light, was wrapped in her blanket, her arms holding onto a stuffed butterfly Gil had given her.

"This can't be happening again," Sara whispered to herself.

This wasn't the first time her family had been harassed by an anonymous caller, but the first time Gil had been present to calm her nerves. Unlike this current caller, they had never played music or spoken before.

"Absentia," Sara said to herself.

~o~

The next morning, Sara was up before her alarm. The memory of the chime-like, plucky music box melody still haunted her. Besides, sleep had been a lost luxury since she lost Gil. Going to bed without her husband, without her closet companion, was something that she was never going to get used to.

"Mommy," Emily said, walking sleepy-eyed into the kitchen. "Can I have some pancakes?"

Sara put her cigarette out. She had taken up smoking again lately, but she intended to quit as soon as she could. She kept telling herself that it was a temporary crutch. Every time she purchased a pack, she swore it was the last one.

"Sure," she said. "Go wake your brother up. We have a big day today."

As Emily shuffled away, Sara pulled out a skillet and the pancake ingredients. In the past, Gil had always been the one to make pancakes. He had a way of making sure that each cake was fluffy and golden-brown. Sara's always came out flat and mismatched.

"Mom, Ethan wet the bed again," Emily said as she walked back into the kitchen.

Sara sighed and set the ingredients on the table. "Don't touch," she said to Emily.

When she entered the boy's bedroom she saw him sitting up in bed with his finger in his mouth. Wetting the bed wasn't something new for Ethan, but lately it had gotten worse. Mrs. Cutter's words from the day before echoed in her mind. Maybe she should take him to see someone.

"Let's get a shower," she said, pulling out fresh clothes and holding out her hand for the boy.

Ethan took his mother's hand and jumped off his bed. "It's cold," he commented.

Sara looked down at him. "The shower is going to be warm," she said.

~o~

Gil sat in his car down the street from where he used to live. He imagined his family waking up and eating breakfast, but then again that was what used to be normal. Normal for his family had changed and now he was not sure what it was anymore. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the newspaper deliveryman drive down the street, tossing papers into yards. The Grissom paper, like it always had, landed in the gutter in front of the house.

Without thinking, Gil opened his door and slowly walked to where the newspaper lay. He picked it up, brushed off the snow and dead leaves, and began to walk towards the front porch.

"What are you doing?" Gil asked himself. "Are you just going to open the front door?"

In the back of his mind, he caught himself wondering if he could open the front door or if Sara had changed the locks. What would happen if he walked through the door? Would Sara run into his arms? Would his children hug his legs?

The answers to these questions would have to wait because he had no intention of turning the knob. Softly he set the newspaper on the front porch and turned to walk back to his car.

~o~

Sara grabbed her purse and looked the kids over one last time. Each child was dressed, combed, and ready for a new day. Their backpacks were settled in their proper places and a lunch box dangled from each of their small hands.

"Ready?" she asked, pulling her beanie down over her head.

"I guess," Emily sighed.

Sara pulled open the front door and looked down at the stoop. Slowly, she bent down and picked up the rolled up newspaper that was lying on the 'Welcome' mat. She glanced both ways down the street and saw nothing but an old pinto one of the neighbors probably owned. Hesitantly she tucked it under her arm and herded the children out to the car.

~o~

Gil watched as Sara picked up the newspaper. If he revealed himself to her now, then he would be putting everyone in danger. Though it was tempting, he thought it was best to keep his distance. Besides, he wasn't too sure how anyone was going to react. He wanted to be accepted back with love and happiness, but there was a possibility that he could evoke more pain. He could confuse his children and enrage Sara.

He was content now to just watch from a distance and remember the life he had had with Sara and the children. He longed for the happy mornings where oatmeal and cereal had been served or the nights alone with Sara, after the kids had gone to sleep. He missed being able to read to his son or go on discovery expeditions with his daughter.

As Gil watched his family drive away, he sighed and turned the engine over. He did not notice that a van down the street did exactly the same thing.

~o~

Sara sat down at her desk and opened her class's text book. She had been employed at Brookside high school for the past sixth months and really enjoyed it. The class she taught was an advanced physics class and her students were all a challenge for her. Luckily, she never did back down from a challenge.

"Morning, Mrs. G," one of her students said as he walked in and dropped into a desk.

Sara put on her best smile. "Good morning," she said. "Did you remember your homework?"

"def," he said, pulling out his IPod and plugging the ear buds into his ears.

Sara nodded. She hadn't picked up the entire teenage lingo yet, but she was working on it. After all, one day her children would be teenagers and she would find herself standing at the edge of Hell.

"Mrs. G," another student, a young girl, said as she rushed up to Sara's desk. "I need to ask you something."

It hadn't been a request that the students call her 'Mrs. G', but was instead something she had been christened with. It made her feel like, on some level, the students had accepted her.

"Sure," Sara replied. "That's what I'm here for."

The girl opened her notebook. "What does 'Absentia' mean?" she asked.

Sara was taken aback for a moment. She stared at the girl, who she knew well. It wouldn't be like her to play a joke or to be the mastermind of a cruel plan. She decided to consider it a coincidence. After all, Latin was a subject that was taught in the school.

"Just look at the make-up," Sara said, putting on her glasses and pointing to the word.

In the back of her mind, Sara was still listening to the eerie voice and the tingling music, but she pushed past it. She pulled out a blank sheet of paper and began to write.

"The suffix 'ia' means 'a state of'," she explained. "and the root word is 'Absent' which means 'missing'."

The girl nodded. "Oh," she said. "So, it means a person who is in the state of absence."

Sara nodded. "If someone has been missing for so long, then family members can get a death certificate on the grounds of 'In Absentia'."

"Thanks, Mrs. G," the girl said, scribbling down what Sara said. "I knew I could ask you."

Sara smiled. "You can always count on me," she said, taking her glasses off.

When Sara was alone again, save for her one student bobbing along to music, she let herself remember the one word that had sent chills up her spine the night before.

"_Absentia"_

~o~

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	3. Chapter 3

At recess, Emily Grissom sat by herself and pushed herself on a swing. She didn't want to play with the other children because everyone always asked her questions about her dad. It wasn't something she liked to talk about. Her mother told her that her father was missing and that since they hadn't found a body, that he could still be alive. Emily was tired of waiting for her dad and all of her old friends told her that their parents said he was dead.

"Hey," a strange voice called out. "Emily."

Emily turned and noticed a tall, skinny man standing behind the funnel fence. Mrs. Lansford always warned the class about 'Stranger Danger'. This man was a stranger and she was supposed to go find an adult.

She jumped off of her swing. "Mrs. Lansford!" she called.

"I saw your daddy," the man said. "He's alive."

Emily froze and turned. "You saw my daddy?" she asked, stepping towards the fence.

The man was dressed in a dark brown overcoat. He kind of reminded her of the guy in _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_, but without a hat. He had thick, black gloves on his hands and he was husky.

"Yes," the man replied. "I can take you to see him.

Emily wanted to see her dad more than anything, but warnings of 'Stranger Danger' kept replaying in her mind. Her mom and dad told her what happened to kids who went with strangers. She did not want to end up like any of them.

Emily shook her head. "I'm going to go and get Mrs. Lansford," she said, turning to run towards the group of teachers.

~o~

Meanwhile, as his sister was turning to run towards her teacher, Ethan was busy with his small circle of friends. The game was 'Race Car' and he was currently in second place. His mommy always played cars with him; it was his favorite thing.

"I will beat you!" he cried to his friend, a red haired boy named Cameron.

"No you won't," his friend cried with delight as they ran around the playground of 'Tiny Town'.

Apart from lunch time and snack time, Ethan's favorite time of the day was recess. It was the only time of the day, unless he was playing with mommy, that he could run around and scream.

"Hi, Ethan," a friendly man said from the gate.

Ethan stopped running. He was not supposed to walk over to the gate, but this man looked nice. He began to walk towards the fence when Ms. Carol came over and grabbed his hand.

"Who are you?" She asked the strange man.

"I'm his uncle," the man replied.

~o~

Sara tried as much as she could to refrain from going into the teacher's lounge. For some people, high school drama didn't end with the youth. As she pulled on her coat she checked her mailbox. The only thing inside was a folded sheet of paper. She withdrew it, opened her mouth, and let a gasp. The only thing written was the same words over and over.

In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia

In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia

In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia

In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia In Absentia

~o~

She arrived at 'Tiny Town' before pick up time for once, but as she entered the building the look on Mrs. Cutter's face told her that something had happened. A million thoughts began to race through her mind. Did something happen to Ethan? Did he do something to someone? Is he sick? Is there an outbreak of lice?

"Mrs. Grissom, is Ethan's uncle in town?" Mrs. Cutter asked.

Sara shook her head. "Gil and I didn't have any siblings," she said. "And I didn't add anyone to the pick-up list."

Mrs. Cutter pursed her lips. "A man approached the playground today and started talking to your son," she said. "Carol intervened and the man said that he was Ethan's uncle. We called the police."

Sara felt her blood leave her face. "Did they catch him?" she asked.

Mrs. Cutter shook her head. "I am afraid not," she said. "I am so sorry. We try our best to protect our children."

Sara was positive, now more than ever, that they were back. She had to leave the state and she had to leave as soon as possible. If these people could reach her son at his daycare, then they had no intention of leaving them alone. The phone calls and letter were just the beginning.

"You did," she said. "It could have been worse."

~o~

When Sara had pulled into the parking lot of Brookside Elementary she saw Emily's teacher, Mrs. Lansford, waving for her to pull her car over. She coasted up to the woman and rolled her window down.

"Is everything alright?" Sara asked.

Mrs. Lansford shook her head. "A man approached Emily at the playground and tried to convince her to go somewhere with him," she said. "She came and got a teacher, but what is horrifying is what the man said to her."

Sara felt her body shake. "What?" she said, her voice cracking.

"He said that he would take her to see her father," Mrs. Lansford replied, whispering so Ethan wouldn't hear.

Sara felt her hands grow cold, despite them being gloved. She opened the car door and got out to speak to the woman in privacy.

"Where is she now?" Sara asked.

"She is inside," Mrs. Lansford replied. "She is a little shaken."

Sara stepped away from the car. "Watch my son," she said, jogging up the stairs of the school.

When she pushed open the doors she saw Emily sitting in front of the principal's office. Her backpack was sitting on her lap and she looked frightened. Sara walked over to her and knelt down.

"What did he say to you?" Sara asked. "Did he try to touch you?"

Emily shook her head. "He said daddy was alive," she said. "He said he wanted to take me to daddy."

~o~

Gil sat in his car watching the Grissom house. He was waiting on Sara to return so that he could decide whether or not to approach her. If he was in danger and his being here put his family in danger, then he may as well take them with him. Not putting them in the Witness Security Program with him had been his own selfish idea. He assumed, wrongly, that he would only be gone a few months and that the shuffle would confuse his children. He never dreamed it would be so long. Not telling Sara was also his idea. He couldn't trust her to control her emotions or even allow such a thing to happen.

As the KIA pulled into the driveway, Gil leaned forward to watch his family clamber out. As Sara climbed out of the driver's side, Gil saw her look back over shoulder and mouth something to the children. She opened one of the back doors, unfastened Ethan, and hoisted him up onto her hip. Emily rushed over to her side. Gil noticed that his small daughter looked scared.

Quickly the family rushed up the front steps and entered the house. Before closing the door, Gil saw Sara look back. When she finally shut the door, he waited for the lights in the house to turn on. The house sat dark and Gil knew what had happened.

They were coming for his family.

~o~

Sara turned on a small lamp in the living room. "Go to your room and get some clothes," she told Emily.

Emily did not object and she quickly trotted to her room to pack her suitcase. Sara toted Ethan to his room, set him on the bed, and pulled open his dresser drawers. As she began to pile clothes into a pillow case, she heard an upstairs floorboard creak. The only bedroom upstairs was the master bedroom, so it was not Emily.

Quickly she picked her son back up, grabbed his teddy bear, and stopped in the bathroom for his toothbrush. Emily was already wheeling her suitcase into the living room. For an eight year old, she seemed to sense the danger of the situation.

"We're going back out to the car now," she said, grabbing a family photo off the end table and stashing it in her purse. "Don't look back. Just get in."

Emily nodded. "Where are we going?" she asked.

Sara opened the front door. "Maybe to see some old friends of mine," she said.

She shut and locked the door after them and helped Emily drag her suitcase down the icy steps. Quickly they walked through the snow, but Sara stopped when she saw that the tires of the KIA were flat. Someone had slashed all four tires.

"Son of a bitch," Sara sobbed, setting Ethan down and pulling her phone out.

A soft breeze flew by her cheek and the side mirror of the KIA shattered. Emily screamed and Sara dropped everything and gathered her children up. Around her things exploded and she didn't know where to take cover. She dragged her kids to the front of the car and waited for the gunfire to stop. Quickly she looked around for a place to hide, but she saw none. If they ran into the woods, maybe they had a chance. Perhaps she could squeeze her kids under the car and make a break for it, turning all attention to herself.

Just as she was about to do the latter, the gunfire stopped and she was able to hear Emily and Ethan crying into her coat. The sound of a car driving up and screeching to a halt caught her attention and she looked up to see the familiar Pinto that belonged to her neighbor. The passenger door opened and Sara gaped at the driver.

"Get in!" Gil said to her.

Sara did not have time to process the fact that it was Gil who was speaking with her. Instead she scooped up both children and dove into the car.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW. It makes me want to continue…


	4. Chapter 4

After diving into the car, the only thing Sara was able to comprehend was that her children were terrified. She looked back over her shoulder to see if they were being followed, but the street seemed deserted. In her arms Emily and Ethan were shaking uncontrollably and sobbing.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy," Emily cried. "Someone wants to kill us."

"Is anyone hurt?" Gil asked, snapping Sara back into reality.

She pulled her children back and checked them over. She felt their small arms and legs, feeling for wounds. As she searched Ethan, she noticed that he had wet himself. When she was satisfied that they were alright, she pulled them to her again and planted kisses on their heads.

"Mommy isn't going to let anyone get us," she said as she tried to relax them.

She leaned back in the passenger seat and smoothed the hair back for what seemed like hours. Their cries of fear broke her heart and she wished she had the power to erase the last twenty-four hours from their minds. Finally, their sobbing stopped and she saw that they had cried themselves to sleep.

"Here," she heard Gil say, handing her a blanket.

Sara looked up at him and finally her thoughts became clear. She had been so confused and delirious from all the action that she hadn't been able to process the fact that Gil was sitting beside her. She took the blanket that he had extended to her and bundled the children in it. He reached over and fumbled with a few knobs on the dashboard.

"I'll try and get some heat going," he said as he checked his rear-view mirror.

"Gil?" She asked in disbelief.

Gil looked over at her. "It's me," he said in his familiar soothing voice.

Sara did not know how to respond. Her heart was overwhelmed to see him again. She never thought she would, even though she had hoped and even prayed. There was a part of her that was angry that he had left her and the kids; even though deep down she knew why.

"You're alive," she stated. "Where…. how…. Where have you been?"

Gil licked his lips. "I didn't know what else to do," he said. "They said they would kill you if I didn't die. I wasn't ready to, so I went into hiding until I could figure this entire situation out," he paused and looked over at her." I didn't think it would be so long."

Sara felt a twinge of anger. "It doesn't look like it worked," she said. "So it turns out you just abandoned us for a year."

As the words left her mouth, she felt sorry she said them. Gil kept his eyes focused on the road. He anticipated that Sara would have some resentment towards him and justly so. She had been raising their kids in the midst of tragedy … alone.

"Do you have _any_ idea what I have been struggling with?" Sara whispered harshly, keeping her voice low. "Do you know how _devastated_ your children were? How heartbroken I was? Do you know how hard I _struggled_ to keep food on the table?"

"I kept an eye on you," he said. "I made sure you always had money."

Sara was confused. "How?" she asked. "How could you know?"

Gil looked over at her. "I had Brass keep an eye on your finances," he explained. "If you had any problems I made sure you got money."

Sara rolled her eyes. "Brass," she said. "I should have known. That man came to the house after I told him you were missing and comforted me. He knew the whole time?"

Gil was quiet, but his silence told her what she needed to know. He didn't trust her to keep the secret. Would she have been able to? If she knew Gil was alive and away, would she have been able to resist going to him?

Sara looked out the window. "Should I say 'thank you'?" she asked.

"I love you," he said. "I love the kids. I never wanted to put any of you through this, but I couldn't see you killed. I _refused_ to risk it."

Sara was quiet. "Tell me what happened," she said.

~o~

_Gil woke up and saw only red. He had a splitting headache and could not remember what he had done to cause it. Had he fallen? Had he been drinking? _

_He reached over to Sara's side of the bed. "Sara," he said. "My head is killing me." _

"_Sara's at home," a strange voice said to him. "If you want it to stay like that then I suggest that you cooperate." _

_Gil snapped his eyes open and his last memories flooded back into his mind. He had been checking the breaker box when he was hit repeatedly from behind. He recalled the warm flow of blood that ran down his back before he blacked out. _

"_Where…what…" he stuttered, trying to move._

_His hands were bound behind his back. He wriggled his legs, only to discover that they too were bound. He looked up at his kidnappers, but could only see shapes in black stockings. He did not need anyone to tell him who they were associated with. From the angle that he was looking, it appeared as if he were in the trunk of a car. The red light that flooded in around him came from the taillights. _

"_You can't do this," he said. "You have no righ-"_

"_We are being lenient and giving you a choice. You can either die here and we'll leave your family alone or you can live and we'll bring them here and kill them in front of you. You'll have to live with that memory for the rest of your life and we'll be around to make sure that that is a long time."_

_Gil grew silent. "Leave them out of this," he said, and then finally added. "I don't care what you do to me. Just leave them alone."_

"_Good man," he said. "I didn't want to have to hurt any children tonight."_

_The trunk closed and Gil heard the car start up. He wriggled in his bindings, but he was tied tightly He didn't know where he was being taken, but he knew he wouldn't be alive long enough to wait for help. He could either die here, or fight and find a way out. Gil strained his eyes to see and finally his sight fell on the compartments that held the taillights in place. They looked as if someone had not replaced them properly and he knew that that was his only hope. He brought his bound feet forward and gave it a kick. After a few kicks it popped open slightly and he held his feet up to it to saw at the tape._

_Soon the car stopped and Gil returned to his earlier position. He had told them that he was willing to die, but he was not ready to give up seeing his family. His children needed him as they grew up and his heart wasn't ready to be separated from Sara. He had to survive for them. _

_There was a slap on the roof of the trunk and he heard muffled voices bid him farewell. Soon the car started to roll down a hill and then he heard a splash as the car met the lake. He started sawing at the tape on his feet again, hoping that soon it would give. _

_Eventually the tape gave, but the trunk was starting to fill with water. He twisted his body until his hands were in the right position, then he began to work on the tape that held his hands. As the water began to rise, Gil saw the freckled faces of his children. Emily, who had had just lost a tooth, was smiling at him with her blue eyes. Ethan, who looked just like Sara, was holding his favorite book for his father to read to him._

"_I refuse to die here," he thought to himself. _

_Lastly, he thought of Sara. He thought of the many times he ran his fingers through her hair. He recalled the moment when she had been in the hospital holding a little pink bundle. Then, three years later, there had been a blue bundle. _

_These last thoughts gave him the energy and adrenaline he needed to fray the tape enough to where it gave away. Now that he was free, he searched the trunk for an emergency hatch. Hopefully, he assailants were dumb enough to leave it useful. When he located it he tried it. It was broken. _

"_Fuck," he yelled, giving the lever another yank. _

_As the water level rose, Gil knew that in moments there would be no room to breathe. Frantically he began to kick the backseat, hoping that it would give. Just as he was about to give up and look for another route, he gave one final kick and the back seat pushed forward. Water rushed in at him, but he did not stop to panic. He swam through the opening and into the car. _

_He tried the two back doors first, but found that they were both locked. He swam up to the front seat and tried the passenger door, but it was locked as well. Thankfully, it was the driver's side door that wasn't locked. He stopped and waited while the car filled with water so that the pressure would be even. _

_Once the car was filled, he pushed the door open and slowly began to swim away from the car. He did not head for the surface, even though his body was craving oxygen. Instead he swam further into the lake; hoping that anyone watching the wreckage would not see him. If was spotted, then Sara and the kids would be killed. _

~o~

Sara hurriedly picked through the bin of children's clothes. They had stopped in a small town outside of Minnesota for gas and supplies. Gil had given her a gun and she had walked with Emily to a small discount store. The clothing selection wasn't much, but she couldn't afford to be picky. She had one child in soiled clothes and another who needed a shoe.

"Mommy," Emily said. "Can I get a coloring book?"

Sara held her hand tightly. "Yes," she said. "We'll get one in a few minutes."

The story that Gil had told her played on loop in her mind and she couldn't imagine how panicked he must have felt. She felt guilty for having blamed him for her pain, but she still thought that something could have been arranged.

"Mommy, where are we going?" Emily asked, tugging on Sara's coat.

Sara shook her head. "I am not sure, honey," she said.

She went back to checking sizes. She had found a few decent pairs of pants for Ethan and one for Emily. She was about to move on to shirts when Emily tugged at her coat again. Sara sighed and looked down at her.

"Is daddy mad at us?" she asked, innocently.

Sara knelt down and brushed Emily's hair back. "No," she said. "Daddy loves us very much."

Emily looked unsure. "Then where did he go?" she asked.

Sara thought about what to say. When Emily had woken up and saw Gil, her reaction had been little. She hugged her father and kissed him, but she still seemed reserved about the fact that he had returned. She was her father' daughter; careful and decisive

"Daddy didn't want to leave us," she said. "He wanted to stay, but there were some very bad people that were following him. They told daddy they would hurt us so he hid from them so they would think he had died."

Emily was young, but she understood. She wasn't a genius, but she was a very intelligent child. As parents, Sara and Gil wanted Emily to think for herself and solve her own problems. They wanted to encourage her to be independent.

"Who are they?" Emily asked.

Sara pursed her lips. "When daddy was young he helped the police in Chicago," Sara explained. "He studied bugs and everyone thought he did a very good job. So good in fact, that the police wanted him to help on a big case that included some very bad people."

Emily thought about her mother's words. "Did they hate daddy?" she asked.

Sara took a deep breath and nodded. "They all went to jail and they said they would find all the people that helped the police," she explained.

Emily looked over her mother's shoulder and leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "Was the man at my school a bad man?" she asked.

Sara nodded. "He was a very bad man," she said.

Emily leaned in to whisper again. "I see him behind us," she said.

Sara froze and went rigid. She quickly slipped her hand into her pocked and felt the cool metal of the automatic in her pocket. Slowly she stood, smoothed Emily's hair back, and picked up the clothes she had found.

"Let's go get a coloring book," she said, naturally.

~o~

Gil set the gas pump back into its place and glanced in the backseat at his sleeping son. Ethan had grown a lot in the last year and he was sad that he had missed out. The urge to pick him up and hold him close was almost unbearable, but he wanted to handle each child's reactions separately. He still needed to talk to Emily and he hoped that Sara been able to soften her up.

He looked in the direction of the store just in time to see Sara and Emily speed walking towards him. The expression on his wife's face worried him and he climbed into the driver's seat to start the engine. When his wife and daughter reached the car they climbed in.

"They're in there," Sara whispered to him.

**~0~**

**Hello, this is Katy. Please leave a review. I could really use any positive feedback. I am trying to update Sara Sidle Out, but I seem to be hung up in a few places. I am hammering out the kinks, I promise. I really enjoy your reviews when I get them. Thank you so much for reading. Have a very good day. **


	5. Chapter 5

As they pulled onto the highway, Sara kept a vigilant watch through the back window. She didn't doubt that Emily had seen someone, and she could only hope that her daughter had been confused about who it was. In the back seat Ethan was still sleeping.

"Where are we going?" Sara finally asked.

Gil looked over at her. "We're going to meet with Jim," he said. "He'll put us in the WSP. That's all I can think to do."

Sara nodded. "So you're doing what we should have done a year ago?" she countered, annoyed at him.

Gil looked exhausted and Sara was sorry that she was being hostile with him. She couldn't help but realize that if they had gone into WSP as a family that this would not have happened. She loved her husband, but she wasn't sure if he was aware of the struggles they had endured.

"Mommy," Emily said. "I'm tired of driving. I want to get out of the car."

Sara shook her head. "We can't," she said. "We'll stop when we stop."

Emily whined. "That's not fair,"" she said, slamming her coloring book closed.

Sara rubbed her forehead. "Well life isn't fair," she replied.

Emily grew quiet and Gil turned on the radio. He turned through the stations and finally settled on a channel that played oldies. As they drove, Sara watched the trees pass by in a blur. It had only been twenty-four hours since she had woken up and found the newspaper placed neatly on the front step. Now they were driving for their lives.

"Did you put the paper on the front step?" Sara asked, not looking at her husband.

Gil answered her in a whisper. "Yes."

Sara turned her head to look at him. "So you were just outside our front door at seven in the morning?" she said. "How long were you in Brookside?"

Gil continued to speak in a low tone. "Two days," he said. "I followed you to Pizza Palace."

Sara thought back and then glanced at his red plaid coat. "You walked out," she remembered.

Gil nodded. "I wanted to talk to you," he said. "It was the first time I had seen you three in nearly a year."

Sara turned to look back out the window. "Why did you come back?" she asked.

Gil glanced in the rearview mirror at Emily. She had gone back to coloring and appeared to not be paying attention.

"Jim got an anonymous package that contained photos of you and the kids," Gil explained. "There were photos of you guys asleep in bed and photos of you at the grocery store. They were close ups of you. Like someone was in the house and had been standing over your beds."

Sara froze and felt the blood leave her face. Someone had been in her home and she had been none the wiser. She had an alarm system and she was positive that she set it every night. She looked back at the children and was horrified to think of someone standing over them as they slept.

"Why did they send it to Brass?" She asked. "Why not you…. or me?"

"Because they couldn't find me," he explained. "And they knew you didn't know anything. They were aware that we had worked with Jim and I guess they assumed I had gone to him."

Sara grew quiet and let their conversation sink in. There was so much she didn't understand and those questions would have to be saved for later. She was tired of being inquisitive. In the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a black Tahoe in the side mirror.

She turned and looked over her shoulder at it. "Gil," she said. "I think he wants to pass us."

Gil looked in the rear-view mirror. "They can go around," he said.

Sara sat back in her seat and stared ahead. She let her eyes fall on Gil's hands. She noticed the shiny gold band and smiled. She looked down at her own hand and realized that neither one of them had removed their rings.

"Gil…." Sara started.

Her words were cut short when the car suddenly jolted. She looked back and saw the Tahoe speeding up to give the Pinto another tap. Gil pushed on the gas, but the Tahoe also increased its speed.

"Mommy!" Emily cried, letting her crayons fall to the floor.

"Gil, it's them," she said grabbing his arm.

Ethan sat up with a start and rubbed his eyes. "Stop it," he whined.

The car jolted again and both children screamed. Sara threw a blanket over their heads and instructed both children to close their eyes. She wished she could close her own eyes, but she was too scared to not see what was happening.

Gil pressed the accelerator as hard as he could, but the small car wasn't built for speed. The only other option he had was to try and out maneuver it. Seeing a side road, he took it and prayed .

"Do you know where we are going?" Sara asked in a panic.

Gil didn't answer. He kept his eyes on the road and his concentration on a way out. The Tahoe pulled into the next lane and sped until it was alongside them. Sara could see into the car and saw two men with shaved heads and turned-up collars. One of them pulled out a gun and Gil pushed her head down before she had time to register what was happening.

Beside her the window shattered and glass flew everywhere. When she lifted her head, Sara saw a truck approaching in the opposite lane. Gil must have noticed too because his nostrils flared with anxiety. The car jolted to the side and with horror Sara realized that they meant to push them off the road. Gil stayed straight and Sara couldn't help but feel like she was in the movie _Mad Max_. She looked back at the children and saw that they were still covered up.

As she turned back, Sara noticed an access road with an extremely low clearance. She pointed towards it and Gil did not need her to explain. He turned onto the gravel road and headed towards it. The Tahoe followed, blasting its horn at them and tapping the bumper. As the Pinto drove under the clearance, Sara ducked out of nervousness.

Behind them came an earth shattering crash and Sara looked back to see the top of the Tahoe had been smashed into the low clearance.

~0~

"Mommy," Emily asked. "Are we stealing?"

Sara tried the handle of the Buick. "We're borrowing," she said.

After the incident on the road, Gil had decided that they needed to change cars. They had driven to a truck stop and they were now trying to find a decent automobile. They had raised their children to believe that stealing was wrong, but now here they were committing grand theft auto in front of them.

"We didn't ask," Emily stated.

"When this is over we are going to explain what happened and these nice people are not going to be mad," Sara said. "We may even give them some money."

Emily didn't look impressed and that couldn't be helped. Sara pulled her daughter over to a station wagon and tried the handle. It opened and Sara waved Gil over.

"Get anything we need from the car," he said, setting Ethan down in the backseat.

After the experience with the Tahoe, Ethan had started to suck his thumb. Neither Sara nor Gil tried to make him stop, but they both hoped he would on his own.

Sara came back to the station wagon with a few bags while Gil changed the license plate. She searched the console for a set of keys but couldn't find any. It was an older model car and she was sure that hot wiring it wouldn't be a problem.

"I'm tired, mommy," Emily said.

~0~

Gil keyed into the small motel room and carried Emily over to the full sized bed. They had found a motel on one of the back roads and Sara convinced Gil that the children, especially Ethan, needed to sleep in a bed. He had been against it but agreed reluctantly.

As Sara laid Ethan beside his sister she tugged at his thumb. The little boy whined and fought his mother. She gave up and Ethan returned to his sucking. Nervously she sat back and looked at her son. She smoothed his hair back and kissed his forehead.

"Ethan," she said. "You need to let mommy take your coat off."

Gil came over and knelt down beside his wife. "Hey," he said. "Are you going to say 'hi' to me?"

Ethan focused on his father, but didn't remove his thumb. After a moment he began to suck again and Sara felt tears burning behind her eyelids. It had only been a few days ago that he had been a happy boy, but now he was nearly catatonic.

"Gil, he needs a hospital," Sara said.

Gil agreed. "We'll find one tomorrow," he said. "We'll let him sleep and maybe he'll snap out of it. If not we'll go first thing."

Sara nodded and stood. "I'm going to take a shower," she said.

Gil took a chair from the table and propped it under the door handle. He sat down on the edge of the bed beside Ethan and untied his shoes. They featured the popular Disney character Lightning Mcqueen from the movie _Cars_.

"Still love cars?" Gil asked him.

Ethan did not answer, but Gil continued. "Remember that car show we went to?" he asked. "Mommy and Emily stayed at home. We sat in that big blue one and you got to turn the wheel?"

Ethan didn't answer, but he had quit sucking. His brown eyes, just like Sara's, were focused on him. They were wide and unblinking.

"I bet you're wondering where I've been," he said as he unbuttoned Ethan's coat. "I had to go away, but I missed you. I missed you a lot," he paused and tugged at his little thumb. "We Grissom men have to be tough."

Gil tugged on the thumb again and Ethan gave up. It popped out and Gil slid his coat off. When the clothing had been removed, he tried to reassume the position, but Gil held his arm down.

"It's alright," he said. "I'm back and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

He hugged his son to his chest and rocked him back and forth; just like he did when he was an infant. He had had colic and Sara had been stressed. Gil had spent so many nights rocking him to sleep.

"Daddy's back," he said, noticing that the boy had fallen asleep.

Gil took off his own shoes and stretched out beside his children. He thought of going to Sara in the shower, but rejected the idea. She was too angry to make love to him. Since he had reentered her life; they hadn't so much as held hands.

As he closed his eyes, Gil pulled the kids close to him. He was so relieved to be back in their lives. Now all they needed to do was reach safety and then they could start to develop a new sense of normalcy.

~o~

When Gil woke up the first thing he noticed was that the motel room door was opened. He sat up in bed and looked around the room. Ethan and Emily were no longer beside him, and the shower in the bathroom had stopped. Slowly he stood up and walked over to the door.

"No!" he cried when he saw the red snow.

Not far from where he stood he saw three figures lying motionless. He rushed through the snow, forgetting his shoes, and turned over the body of his son. Ethan had been shot in the head and his brown eyes stared up at nothing. Those eyes had once been so full of life; now they were blank.

"Come back to me," he said as he set Ethan down gently and reached for his wife and daughter.

He couldn't bring himself to look at their faces as he had done with Ethan. Instead he cradled them against him and rocked. He had let his family down and they had paid the ultimate price for it.

~0~

Gil awoke with a start and quickly looked around the dark room. As his eyes adjusted, he was able to make out three shapes beside him. He clicked on the lamp beside the bed and saw his family sleeping soundly beside him.

"Son of a…" Gil swore as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Sara lay at the other end of the bed beside Emily. The two females were tucked under the blanket and Sara had her arm around her daughter. Gil pulled the blanket out from under Ethan and covered him up. The dream had been so real that he felt the cold snow under his feet. Slowly he walked to the bathroom, his heart still pounding.

"Gil," Sara said groggily. "What are you doing?"

He turned on the faucet and proceeded to splash water on his face. "Nothing," he said between splashes. "It was just a bad dream."

Sara leaned up in bed. "How bad?" she asked genuinely concerned.

Gil looked back at her. "Don't worry about it," he said. "It was just a dream."

Sara slid out of bed carefully. "Dreams can be just as stressful as real life," she said. "They can haunt you."

Gil didn't reply. Instead he looked at his own reflection and tried to block the images of his family's lifeless bodies lying in the blood soaked snow. He was so deep in thought that he did not notice Sara standing right beside him until she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," she said. "Come lie down."

Gil shook his head. "You go back to bed," he said. "I'm going to take a shower. Sorry I woke you."

He stepped away from her and Sara felt a pang of guilt. She had been giving him a hard time for the past forty-eight hours; she wasn't the only one who needed comfort. She heard the shower start and Sara stepped into the separate bathroom. She peeled off her clothes, kicked them to the side, and pulled back the curtain.

"Do you mind if I join you?" she asked, wantonly.

Gil looked over at her and let his eyes scan her body, "of course not," he said, moving over to make room for her.

She stepped in front of him and felt the warm water rush down her body. Gil placed his fingertips on her hips and she felt an electric shock shoot through her body.

"Oh," Gil whispered into her ear. "I've missed this."

Sara smiled. "What did you ever do without me?" she asked teasingly.

Gil moved her hair to the side and began to trail kisses along her neck. "Nothing quite as satisfying," he growled lowly in her ear.

As they made love, Sara felt the pain and anguish of the past year leave her. She was with her husband again and she couldn't ask for anything more. As his hands felt over her body, Gil relished the smoothness of her skin and was thankful that she was alive.

"I love you," he panted into her ear.

~0~

Hi, sorry guys I had to haul all my crap across Korea, but I am at my new school. I am so happy now and I LOVE all your reviews. Please leave more. Thanks so much for supporting me.


	6. Chapter 6

Gil woke up to faint sunlight streaming in through the cracks around the motel curtains. When he realized he was alone in bed, he sat up and looked toward the door. When he saw that it was still locked, with an armchair still propped under the knob, he let himself sink back into the pillows. From the bathroom he could hear Sara's smoky voice.

"Why can't we wake up daddy?" Emily asked.

"Because," Sara replied. "Daddy is tired and you need a bath. "

"I don't want to take a bath with him," Emily wined, referring to Ethan.

"Well," Sara replied. "You are going to today.

"Where we goin'?" Ethan's small voice asked.

Hearing his son speak was music to his ears; after how traumatic yesterday was it was a miracle. He threw the blankets back, looked at the clock, and saw that it was still early. He wished that they didn't have to rush and that they could just stay as they were for a few days, but something like that could not be risked.

"We're going to see Uncle Jim," Sara replied. "Remember the man who came to see us and brought you toys. He is going to help us hide."

When he had been in hiding he did all he could to not fall apart. Once he had even been daring enough to call home. He had called from a payphone of course, but the call went straight to the answering service. The outgoing message was a recording of the family announcing that they were not home and a request to leave a message. To keep himself sane, he purchased the children's favorite foods and spent time eating them while watching _Adventure Time. _He still remembered the odd looks he received from the cashier.

There weren't many tangible things that reminded him of Sara. At times he would purchase a book that she had read or an aroma candle that she had preferred. Despite all these things, everything that reminded him of her was memories. He did not have any pictures of her, so all he could do was close his eyes and remember.

"Can daddy make pancakes?" Emily asked, her sweet voice bringing him back to reality.

Sara laughed. "You mean on the engine?" she asked. "We don't have a kitchen right now, but I am sure he will make some soon."

"Mommy," Ethan asked. "will you sing?"

"Sing?" Sara asked. "Why on earth would you want to go through that torture?"

Emily laughed. "We like it when you sing," she said. "you sound pretty."

Gil heard water splash in the bathtub and pictured Sara splashing cups full of water over their small, soapy heads. She was a patient mother. At times she would become stressed, but every one did when it came to raising children.. He hadn't realized how much he had missed seeing her be a mother to his children.

"What should I sing?" Sara asked.

"Something pretty," Ethan said.

"_Here comes the sun…." _Sara began to sing.

~0~

Brass had instructed Gil and Sara to meet him half-way between Minnesota and Nevada. That suited the couple fine because it had already been a long and exhausting road trip. The location that he had designated was a small, family operated restaurant. When they entered, both children ran to plaster their faces against a display case that exhibited pies and cakes.

"Can we get one?" Emily asked, looking back.

Gil nodded. "After you eat something healthy," he said, ushering them to a booth along the far wall.

Feeling paranoid, the adults took the seat facing the doorway. If trouble was to come walking in, then they wanted to be able to spot it before it spotted them.

"Can I get a grilled cheese?" Emily asked.

Gil held out his hands. "You can get ninety grilled cheeses if that's what you want," he stated with a smile.

Emily laughed and smiled, exposing her snaggle-toothed smile. "I'll explode!" she said.

"Oh," Gil said with a nod. "Maybe just one then."

After they ordered their meal, Gil noticed that Sara was busy watching the parking lot. Her body was straight and she seemed ready to run if the occasion called for it. He wrapped an arm around his wife and pulled her close to him.

"Let's relax," he whispered to her. "It'll be over soon."

Even though he told Sara to relax, he could not. Every time the bell over the door chimed he thought it was them. Quickly he thought about what he would do if they were to walk in. He would grab the children first…..

"You too," Sara said, jabbing him in the ribs and breaking him from his thought.

Gil nodded and rubbed his rib cage. "Ouch", he commented. "You probably bruised a rib."

As Sara was about to reply, the bell over the door chimed and Brass walked in. He quickly spotted the Grissom family and started towards them.

~0~

Brass had joined them for their meal and had ordered his own food. The children sat staring at him as they ate, but Gil and Sara were excited to see their friend.

"I know you're pissed at me," Brass said to Sara.

Sara hesitated. "I was," she admitted. "I had some time to think about it and I am glad that Gil was able to go to you for help. I know that you did what you did out of protection."

"Yeah," Brass agreed, wiping his mouth. "I have everything sorted out for you four. We were able to get you a decent house, a decent job, and some decent schools."

Brass pulled a thick envelope out and handed it to Gil and Sara. " I found you some names and I hope you can get settled," he continued. "You know you can't speak to me again until this is all over, right? The feds are pretty pissed that you jumped WSP."

Gil nodded. "You're a good friend, Jim," he said. "And I'm not too concerned about pissing anyone off. I did what I had to do."

Brass nodded and stood. "You guys take care and be safe," he said giving Gil's hand a shake. "There is a van here that'll take you guys the rest of the way."

Sara stood and gave Brass a hug. "Thank you," she said, her lip quivering slightly.

"Oh don't cry," Brass joked. "If you cry then I'll cry."

~0~

"I'm David Gibson now," Gil said, picking up the new license.

They had been driven by an unmarked van to a new motel. It was a lot nicer than their previous accommodations. Each child got their own bed while the adults got a pullout sofa.

Sara picked up her own laminated card. "And I am your loving wife Alice," she said, rolling the name over in her mind.

She knew that they would be given knew Identities, but she hadn't expected to be so melancholy about leaving the name 'Sara' behind. She sorted through the papers that were scattered in front of them and picked up what looked to be a birth certificate.

"Emily will now be referred to as 'Ashley Gibson'," she said, as she picked up the second certificate. "And Ethan is 'Andrew'."

Sara imagined calling the children by their new names and shook her head. Neither one of them looked the part, but they all had to make the most of it. Softly she sighed and flopped all the paperwork back down.

"I can't look at this anymore," she said. "I'm going cross-eyed."

She stretched onto the pullout bed and rubbed her temples. She opened her eyes halfway to look over at Gil. He was still going through the documents; his forehead was wrinkled in concentration.

"Jim got me a job in a lab," he said aloud. "At least I'll know what I'm doing."

Sara sat up on her elbow. "Lab?" she asked.

Gil started to stuff the papers back into their envelope. "Probably the lab that works for the 'Maury' show," he joked.

Sara sat up and lovingly put her arms around her husband. "When it comes to Emily and Ethan," she joked, lowering her voice. "Gil Grissom… you ARE the father."

With a laugh he turned and took her in his arms. "Thank God," he joked. "I was starting to wonder."

~0~

"Mommy, what state are we going to?" Emily asked as they boarded their plane.

Sara looked down at her daughter who was toting a new suitcase that carried a few things that they had gotten before their flight.

"We're going to Wyoming," Sara replied.

Emily wrinkled her nose. "What's in Wyoming?" she asked.

Sara shrugged. "I guess we'll find out," she replied.

Since the family was flying coach, Gil took a seat across the aisle from Sara and the kids. Ethan tried several times to get out of his seat and climb into his father's lap.

"Baby, you have to wear your seat belt," Sara explained, returning him to his seat. "We won't be flying long."

Ethan slumped into his seat and stuck out his bottom lip. "Nooo," he whined.

Sara shook her head and tugged his seat belt on. "You're not going to get a special dessert later," then she added. "People who drive cool cars don't misbehave like this."

Ethan pulled his lip back up and focused his attention on the book Sara handed him. She looked over at Emily who was staring out the window. It was the children's first plane ride, but Sara knew that it wasn't the airplane that was causing her daughter to be silent.

"Are they on the plane?" Emily asked, not turning her head.

Sara stroked her daughter's hair back. "No," she said. "Honey, they're never going to find us again."

~0~

"This must be it," Gil said as the unmarked van rolled to a stop in front of a one story house.

Sara looked out the tinted window. The house was smaller than their previous home, but it appeared to have the same square footage. It was painted a clean off-whit color and the shutters on the windows were black. The yard was spacious and had a large oak tree in the center. Everything about the exterior looked very inconspicuous and plain.

The family climbed out of the van and crowded onto the narrow walk-way that led up to the front door. Emily clung to her father's hand while Sara carried Ethan, his arms tightly laced around her neck. Each family member's eyes were wide with curiosity. One of the two plain-clothed agents keyed into the house.

"Is this our new home?" Ethan asked in a low voice.

Sara rubbed his back and he softly laid his head on her shoulder. "Just for now," she answered, hoping her promise wasn't empty.

The front door opened onto the living area. The room contained a couch, a love seat, a coffee table, and a television set. Sara sat Ethan down on the couch and took his jacket off.

"Where is my room?" Emily asked.

Before Sara could answer, Gil was handed a set of keys and a white envelope. The two men spoke softly to him for a few moments and then departed. He looked into the envelope and saw debit cards, cash, and a credit card.

"What is it?" Sara asked.

"Money," Gil answered. "After we look around we can go and get some things."

~0~

"I don't think I am going to sleep good tonight," Sara said as she wrestled the new sheets onto their new bed. "It doesn't feel like home here."

"It probably won't feel like home for a while," Gil said from the bathroom.

Ethan and Emily had been reluctant to fall asleep in their new bedrooms, but luckily they were fast asleep in their own beds. They had decorated the children's rooms as well as much as their budget would allow, but nothing anyone did could make it feel secure for them.

"We need to go look at the school tomorrow," Sara reminded.

"We will," Gil said. "I need to go sign some papers and then we'll go sign the kids up for school."

Sara nodded and sat down at the edge of the bed. Longing for her past life and feeling sorry for herself was no what the family needed, but she couldn't help it. When she thought of how happy and safe her life had once been she felt anger wash over her.

"I'm just hoping Emily will adjust," She replied, clicking the bedside lamp off and slipping under the blankets.

"She will soon enough," Gil said, turning off the bathroom light.

Sara disagreed. "Do you know how she was affected by your not being there – by your supposed death?" She asked, not really expecting an answer. "She was shattered. The little girl you knew when you left didn't exist anymore."

Gil sighed. "She's alive," he said. "That's most important to me. Hopefully now that we're together again she'll start to act -"

"We can't even call her by her name," Sara said shortly. "How do expect them to accept this?"

Gil took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. To Sara, this was always cue for 'this conversation is over'. Gil Grissom: the master off denial.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?" he asked as he slid under the blankets. "We both need to sleep and we have a long day tomorrow. "

Sara rolled over so that she faced the wall. "I don't care," she said softly. "Goodnight."

The wall she stared at was not the one she was used to. She longed for the dark green walls that she remembered. Never would she imagine that leaving a anything behind would hurt so much, but at least her family was safe.

"We'll make this work," Gil said into her ear as he put his arm around her.

Sara bit her bottom lip softly and she fought the tears brimming behind her eyes. "I hope so," she replied, returning his embrace.

~0~

Hey guys. I am so sorry to be slow with this. I have been so busy. I went to Japan for my winter break. I am going to try and wrap this up in a few chapters or so. I am going to try and get these suspenseful stories done so I can work on a comedy. I love you all and a shout out to my faithful readers and facebook pals. You know who you are.


	7. Chapter 7

"It's like we're playing a game," Gil explained. "Except this is for real."

The family was seated around the kitchen table eating soup and sandwiches. Sara and Gil tried to explain the name changes to the children, but the concept was still too difficult for them to grasp. Finally, Gil decided to give points and make rules as if the children were playing a game.

"Everyone is going to get a new name to use," Sara said. "And we're going to have points."

Gil looked over at his wife. "Mommy is right," he said. "Even I have one."

Ethan looked curious. "What is mine?" he asked.

"Your new name is 'Andrew'," Gil answered. "And Emily your new name is 'Ashley'."

Emily looked uncomfortable. "How do we get points?" she asked.

Gil opened a notebook. "I have everyone's names in here," he said. "And every time you tell someone your new name, you get a point. When you answer to your new name… you get a point."

"And," Sara added. "When you use your new name on your school work you get a point."

"What if we say our old names?" Ethan inquired innocently.

Gil sighed. "Well, that's when you lose a point," he said. "If you answer, tell, or write your old name then you lose a point."

Ethan looked at Sara and wrinkled his forehead. "I'm going to forget," he said, his lip quivering.

Sara shook her head. "If you can't remember the name 'Ashley' just say 'Sister'," she paused and looked at Gil worriedly. "Just call us mommy and daddy like you always have."

"The same thing goes for you," Gil said to Emily. "If can't remember to call your brother 'Andrew' just call him 'brother."

Ethan dropped down from his chair and laid his head in his mother's lap. "I don't want to be 'Andrew'," he cried. "I want to be me!"

Sara set him back in his seat. "We can't," she said. "That's why whoever has the most points every week gets a special surprise. "

"Listen up guys," Gil said in a serious tone.

Ethan and Emily sat up and listened to their father. There had only been a handful of times when Gil had to use a firm voice with his children, but when he did everyone knew he was serious.

"We have to try and play by all the rules," he explained. "You can never tell anyone your old name. You can never tell anyone where we came from and you can never tell them what school you used to go to."

The children nodded, but it was Emily who spoke. "Will they find us?" she asked.

Gil sighed. "They may," he said.

~0~

"Okay everyone," Emily's new teacher, Mrs. Adams, said. "We have a new student."

Emily stood standing in front of a new, strange class. There were plenty of other children in the room, but at the moment most of the faces seemed the same. The classroom itself seemed welcoming. There were colorful posters that detailed parts of speech and there were plenty of books, games, and puzzles.

"This is Ashley Gibson," Mrs. Adams said. "Let's give her a warm welcome. "

"Welcome to our class Ashley," everyone sang out at once.

Emily was unsure of what to say in response, so she just looked up at her teacher. Before mommy had walked her inside, they had talked about making new friends. Mommy said it was important to try and make a new friend.

Mrs. Adams put her hand on Emily's back and walked her to an empty desk next to a girl who had her hair in braids. She smiled nicely at her and the girl smiled back. Mrs. Adams put Emily's supplies in her desk and turned to face the girl with braids.

"Emily," would you be a good girl and introduce Ashley to everyone later?" Mrs. Adams asked.

"Yes Mrs. Adams," the other Emily replied.

In the past, Emily would have been ecstatic to think that she shared a name with someone in class. She had shared a name with someone before in preschool, but not since them. Now, all she could do was be envious that the other Emily was the only Emily.

~0~

Sara stood at the entrance to Ethan's new preschool, son in hand, and contemplated going up the walk-way. When she left Emily at school she felt a wave of nervousness for not being able to be there with her daughter. She also didn't want to leave her son at this time; especially now that he was so confused.

"Mommy," Ethan said looking up at her. "I want to stay home with you."

Sara looked down at him and offered a small smile. "Let's try it out, baby," she said as she coaxed him up the walkway.

Since Gil worked and she did not have a job arranged for her, it was a possibility that he could stay home with her. Despite how tempting it was, she wanted him to make new friends and interact with other children. As they walked towards the entrance, Ethan's small legs did double-time as he scurried along beside her.

When she opened the door she was greeted by many bright colors and the sounds of laughing children. There was colorful artwork on one of the bulletin boards and there were photos of the school children on outings.

"Look," Sara said as she knelt down beside her son. "Everyone is having a good time."

She unbuttoned his coat, slid it off him, and removed his cap. His brown hair, curly like his father's, was in disarray from being under a hat. His eyes were like hers, deep brown and wide. The pensive expression he wore made him look adorable, and Sara couldn't resist the urge to kiss him. As she kissed his cheeks, she inhaled the sweet smell of his shampoo. He was still young enough that she continued to used baby shampoo.

"Let's go and see your class room," she said encouragingly.

She stood and walked over to the receptionist's desk. On the desk was a clipboard that displayed a 'sign out' list. Oddly, she realized that it was now possible for Gil to sign the children out of school. She didn't have to do doctor's appointments or sick-pick-ups alone anymore.

"Hi," she said to the receptionist, offering a friendly smile. "I'm Alice Gibson. My son, Andrew, starts today."

The receptionist leafed through a few papers and then smiled at Sara. "Yes," she said, walking around the desk. "He will be in Mrs. Conley's class," she looked down at Ethan and continued to talk as they walked. "You have a very nice teacher."

Sara gave Ethan's mall hand a reassuring squeeze. "See," she said. "You have a nice teacher."

Ethan's classroom was painted with the same vivid, bright colors that decorated the lobby. Along a far wall there were shelves of games and toys, and along another wall there were shelves of children's books. There were a bank of cubbies running down the middle of the room and Sara took a moment to hang Ethan's coat and backpack on a hook. At the front of the room were a group of children surrounding an animal aquarium.

"Look," Sara said, pointing towards the group of children. "I think there might be a pet in there."

She let his hand go and gently coaxed him to join the mass of children. She watched as he looked into the cage and smiled. Whatever was in there had caught his attention.

~0~

Sara pulled into the driveway of the place that was now referred to as 'home'. The Bureau had been gracious enough to gift them an older model mini-van and a small Pontiac. Gil had left her the van when he went to work. Their first few days in the new house had gone surprisingly smoothly. Both children were quiet about their rooms and Sara had rearranged all the furniture to a position that made the house look more welcoming.

After she had dropped the children off at school, she had gone into town to pick up a few things to decorate with. Their new residence was outside the city limits, but being in the countryside was quiet. Their former home had been in the country, so it was a welcomed similarity. After she toted the bags into the kitchen, she paused to let the silence ring in her ears. It had been the first time in a long time that she had been alone in the house.

In the back of her mind she wondered if she had made the right choice by letting the kids go to school. She could have chosen to home school them. She and Gil had never tried their hand at homeschooling, but the lack of interaction with other children did not appeal to her. With a sigh she picked up her phone and tapped out Gil's new number that had been written on a blank sheet of paper. He had gotten them both new phones.

"Hi," he said answering on the first ring. "I was wondering when you'd call."

Sara let out a small laugh. "You know me very well," she said, and then in a lower voice, a voice she only used when speaking to him, she added. "How is your day?"

"Fine," Gil replied, lowering his own voice to match hers. "It's been a long time since I had a boss."

"I don't count?" she asked coyly.

Gil chuckled. "If he was that kind of a boss to me I don't think we'd be married anymore," he said.

Sara laughed, but grew serious. She wanted to save the playful banter for later. "How is your day?" She asked. "Anything interesting?"

"Not really," Gil said. "I have my own locker."

Sara joked. "Coming up in the world," she said with a laugh.

In the background she heard other voices and then Gil answered them. It would be her luck to get him fired on his first day.

"I have to go," he said. "I'll call you later."

"I love you," she said quickly, hoping to catch him before he hung up.

"I love you too, honey," he said, disconnecting.

~0~

"How was everyone's day?" Gil asked the family.

Gil and Sara were seated with their backs to the couch. Their legs were outstretched in front of them and a child sat in each lap. The television was on, but no one was watching it.

"It was okay," Emily sighed, leaning back into her mother.

"Just okay?" Gil asked. "Did you make any friends?"

Emily shrugged. "I met a girl today named Emily," she said.

Gil and Sara exchanged sympathetic looks. They both sympathized with their daughter, but they did not want to coddle her too much about it. She needed to learn that she would meet other people that shared her old name.

"Is she nice?" Sara asked, taking her daughter's long hair in her hands and dividing it into three sections.

Emily nodded. "We ate lunch together," she said.

"How about you?" Gil asked, rubbing Ethan's head.

"I saw a chinchilla," Ethan said, turning his attention to the television. "His name is Harry."

Gil took his son in his arms and kissed him on top of his head. He had missed these small family moments. He was glad that, even under the circumstances, that he was able to enjoy them once again.

"It's almost bed tome," Sara sang softly, tying off the end of Emily's hair with a hair-band.

~0~

"What was your day like?" Gil asked as he leaned back onto the bed to watch Sara brush her teeth. He was admiring the way her shorts clung to her.

"Quiet," Sara replied. She stopped, spit into the sink, and continued. "I missed the kids, but I got some things done."

She rinsed her mouth, clicked off the light, and made her way over to where he lay on the bed. He held out his arms to her and she gladly let him pull her close. Feeling his arms around her again was something that seemed surreal to her. When he looked into her eyes, Sara pulled him into a kiss.

The feel of his lips on hers caused the need for him inside of her to grow. He gently slid his hands over her ribs and threaded them through her hair. She let out a sigh and whispered her need for him in his ear.

"I love you, Mrs. Gibson," Gil whispered into her ear jokingly.

At the mention of her newly given name, Sara when went rigid and gently pushed away from him. Gil's eyes were wide with concern. He attempted to pull her back into him, but she stood.

"Don't… can you not call me that when we're trying to have sex?" she asked.

Seeing that she was serious, he took her hand. They had spent the entire course of their relationship as 'Gil and Sara'. Each other's name meant something to the other. The names carried memories of pain and pleasure.

"Want do you want to do?" he asked, letting her take the lead.

Sara licked her lips. "I need you to call me 'Sara'," she said. "if you use the other name it sounds like you're having an affair."

Gil chuckled. "Honey," he said, pulling her back to him. "If it makes you feel more inclined I'll call you 'Queen Sara of the Nile'."

As they made love, Gil whispered her name in her ear. It was such a release for her to be herself with him that she almost forgot about everything else. As they slept, with Gil's arms wrapped protectively around her, she let herself dream of the past.


End file.
